tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63274874768103201942024-03-13T05:47:56.360-04:00Turn Your FaceHow to Be Heard and Get What You Want Most of the TimeBarbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-16436981565421241842014-09-22T12:30:00.000-04:002014-09-22T12:30:35.902-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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Remembering<o:p></o:p></div>
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I heard Toni Morrison say to Oprah on her show, “Your face
should light up when your child walks in the room.” My daddy’s always did and
his smile lit the whole room. He died 21 years ago and I have been thinking
about him a lot lately. He was generous with his words, his money, and his
love. One time in particular he changed his usual behavior just for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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When my first husband left me, I called Daddy at six in the
morning crying. He said, “I don’t know what I’ll do, but I’ll do something. Can
you go to school?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“I can’t stay here by myself. It’s a teacher workday so I
don’t have to be in front of students.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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When I got to school, I called my mother who was already at
her teaching job at James Monroe High School in Fredericksburg, VA. She said,
“Your daddy is on his way. He should be there in about ten hours if he doesn’t
hit heavy traffic.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I got home from school, I alternated between pacing and
staring at the sliding glass door. At 10:00 pm the empty frame of the door was
finally filled with the sight of him. I jumped up, hugged him, cried, and began
the long sordid story. He did not interrupt while I talked till midnight. I
couldn’t sleep so about 2:00 am I crawled in the guest bed beside him and
finally slept with my back to his back. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The next day he continued to listen. Before that Daddy always
talked and told you what to do. I told the tale until my tears dried up.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Then he took me out to eat. I said, “I can’t eat.” He said,
“Take a little bite, chew, take a sip of water, then swallow….OK, keep doing
that until you have finished half of the grilled cheese.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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As soon as I was fed and watered, I began to cry again. After
two days, I said, “I feel like every decision I’ve made for five years is
wrong. I’m going to make another one that might be wrong. I’m going home.” I
was in my third week of a new teaching job in Nashville, TN. I come from a
family of do-right teachers--you don’t miss school and you certainly don’t
quit. I did anyway. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Daddy went to the phone, called my mother and said, “Get out
here. I need some help. She’s coming home.” His not giving advice and listening
for two days while I cried was a lifetime gift of grace that nourishes me still.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-28291277615527110482014-08-23T21:55:00.000-04:002014-08-24T08:14:58.551-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<!--StartFragment-->
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtKghEQcdAYrLndIIaHoMAuHWlNaJtB-yxGtnTeYj49lYpeCDE96-k8RmMgbtlOXPMHchgL7ZGB3s8iBIv995jNZASYHb0rqSYdA-WhCYRyXpiepipUwy4twxr3ssqYjxJsXbzBbE2Z3kp/s1600/IMG_1335.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtKghEQcdAYrLndIIaHoMAuHWlNaJtB-yxGtnTeYj49lYpeCDE96-k8RmMgbtlOXPMHchgL7ZGB3s8iBIv995jNZASYHb0rqSYdA-WhCYRyXpiepipUwy4twxr3ssqYjxJsXbzBbE2Z3kp/s1600/IMG_1335.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br />
Love Me Do<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
January 50 years ago I rode a train to Durham, NC, with my friend
Stevie Danahy to be a date for fraternity rush week at Duke. I had never been
to Durham but knew the name, Duke, as a high class college. I danced to “Love Me Do,” a great song by a new group called the Beatles. I had first heard
the song early one morning before school on my small green and white transistor
radio that sat on the top of my chest of drawers while I was brushing my
perfect beehive hairdo in front of the full length mirror on my closet door. I
put down the brush and began to dance and asked myself, “Who are they?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I soon found out and the huge deal of their coming to
America to be on the Ed Sullivan show was like a national holiday. Almost everyone
in America stopped what they were doing to watch them on Sunday night, February
9, 1964. My husband’s minister preached a short sermon and had everyone go to
the basement social hall to watch on multiple TVs he had had set up. I watched
with my family in the living room on William Street. We didn’t go to Sunday
night church. I loved them, but I did think the screaming, fainting girls on TV
were ridiculous. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But before their coming to America I had heard a live band
in the Duke fraternity house play “Love, love me do, I'll always love you....” I absolutely loved the
song and the dancing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
50 years later I am keeping my seven-year-old grandson for
four days at my house. He lives in Durham and his parents were married in the
Duke Chapel, which was only the third time I had been back to Durham since
1964. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last Saturday I rode the train from Charlotte to Durham at 7
am and back to Charlotte with him at noon on the same day because I thought a
train ride would be exciting to him. His is the last of the three one-on-one
excursions with each grandchild I had planned for the summer and pulled off
with a lot of driving and prayer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last night he said while he continued to improve his
pool game, “What kind of music do you have on your phone?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The Rolling Stones,” I answered. I got my phone and played the song I dance to after I walk each day--"Honky Tonk Woman." That didn't do it for him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you have Prince?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The Bee Gees?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Evis?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.” But I liked the direction he was heading in even
though I had no idea how he knew this music. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The Beatles?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I think I have a CD of them.”” I got it and the player. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He played first, “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” because I said
I liked it. Then “Eight Days a Week” and “Hey Jude.” Then he chose “Love Me Do.” We both loved the beat and the words and I flashed back and thought,
“Yes, this might have been my favorite rather than “I Want to Hold Your Hand.”
We played it at least 30 times in a row and got more powerful with our singing
each time. While I moved my arms and swung my hips, he added a fast running
round off (a special kind of cart wheel) that began with “plea-ea-ea ease” and
ended with us pointing our fingers at each other and singing a loud, “Love me
do.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
<!--EndFragment--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A past and present
connection separated by 50 years floored me with mystery and marvel. How can
this be? Something that I loved when I was 18 and so full of questions about
what my life would hold. Would I have a husband? children? I couldn’t even imagine
grandchildren. The youngest of my three grand children brought home a memory
and reminded me of desires of my youth that have been so wonderfully fulfilled.
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-27102183995461259942014-04-21T10:45:00.000-04:002014-04-21T11:57:30.678-04:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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White Dogwoods<o:p></o:p></div>
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I love white dogwoods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My daddy loved them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He planted many.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He went to the woods once and dug up a wild small
one, which was illegal in Virginia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
took me along, and I was nervous someone would see us much like I was when several
years later he took me to the same country road for my first driving lesson the
week before I was to take the test for my learners permit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I got in the driver’s seat and Daddy sat close beside me so
he could grab the wheel if need be. When I was driving slowly, a police car appeared
in the other lane and drove over the hill behind us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Daddy said, “Stop the car and let me behind
the wheel.” The policeman turned around, came back and stopped us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said, “Was she driving?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Daddy said, “She is not driving now.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The officer stared at us. He didn’t like it, but he let us
go.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I told Mama about it, she said, “I don’t know why he
couldn’t wait one week.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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But I digress. All his dogwood trees died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last one was a four-foot baby that was still
living when I fell on it while I was backing up for a badminton shot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It broke in half, and I felt my heart drop to
my knees. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I didn’t want to tell.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I wanted to wait and say, “Someone else did it,” or “I don’t know what
happened,” but I knew my face would give me away. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Mary Frances, my playing partner, and I stood and looked at the remaining stalk for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally I walked in the back door and said,
“I killed your dogwood. I am so sorry.” He took it well, but I could feel his
disappointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not long after, the city
said cars could not be parked on the street in front of our house. He covered
all the grass in the backyard with asphalt so two cars could be kept there with
room to turn around and drive out to the busy street facing forward. Then only
roses could line both sides of the blacktop. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Daddy planted two dogwoods in the yard of our first house in
Charlotte.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They lived, but then we moved
to Florida. We stayed there for twelve years, and he was gone when we moved
back to Charlotte.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hired a
professional landscaping company to plant one that was too big to break in the
front yard of my second Charlotte house.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It has thrived.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Two years ago I asked the same company to plant two in the
backyard where a big tree had come down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My husband had said, “Let’s give them to each other as Christmas and
birthday presents.” They died, but they were guaranteed so two more were
planted last year.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They bloomed
beautifully in April, but in the fall they didn’t look right—they didn’t
produce the tight little buds under the red leaves that would be next year’s
blooms. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I called the grower in February.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He said, “If they are dead, I won’t replace
them again. You must have bad soil back there.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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For the month of March I looked at them several times a day
and said to myself—you have to let them go just like Daddy did, and I felt what
seemed an irrational sadness that was bigger than just the loss of the money
although that was significant.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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April 1st I looked out the window and thought something seemed
different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I ran outside and saw what I
thought might be the beginning of leaves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When I got back from a business trip, three days of 80 degrees had made
it definite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They wouldn’t bloom this
year, but they were not dead. They had leaves. I am and Daddy would be so
happy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-87475360851449560762013-10-01T10:14:00.000-04:002013-10-01T10:14:02.999-04:00
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAuJdETfK4934Gjz5cjsFgAHBHyA1C2d_kVCYvOZxu1QgEoQPCIBv7XiFR1cCMLw1GnxIgFUaVJqaY1mwi2eGftOqbc0TKzZhG_Vs2hVWh9fOwHX704iOB4bFAwDyRDOwSJ8PSE1csbI4C/s1600/Sallie+and+George.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAuJdETfK4934Gjz5cjsFgAHBHyA1C2d_kVCYvOZxu1QgEoQPCIBv7XiFR1cCMLw1GnxIgFUaVJqaY1mwi2eGftOqbc0TKzZhG_Vs2hVWh9fOwHX704iOB4bFAwDyRDOwSJ8PSE1csbI4C/s200/Sallie+and+George.png" width="142" /></a> Love of Dogs by Barbara Linney</div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My son called the night before I drove to his house in Durham
to stay with his three children while his wife had minor surgery. “I hate to have to tell you this, but we are
putting Sallie down the morning after you get here. The vet is coming to the house to do it. I
know that will be hard for you, but we need you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I can do it, but you have to know I will cry like crazy.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“We’ll all cry.”
Kathryn and I took her to the vet this morning. The vet said she could do blood work, but she
didn’t need to do any tests to tell she’s very sick. She had lost 1/3 of her
body weight, had been having seizures, and bled from her nose the week
before. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“But she doesn’t cry like she’s suffering,” my son said to
the vet.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“She is a working dog. They’ve been bred and trained not to complain
for generations. Just because she is not whimpering does not mean she is not
suffering.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We’ve always had dogs.
Sallie was my son’s first dog as a grown up. He got her from the pound in Frisco,
Colorado, near Breckenridge where he went with fraternity brothers for two
years to work and ski after they graduated.
The people at the pound thought she was a combination Border Collie and
Australian Shepherd.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He told me he and Kathryn hugged and cried in the corner of
the vet’s office for a bit before he asked, “Is it time?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The vet said, “Some people give lots of pain drugs and go the
Hospice route as long as they can, but it is not what I recommend. Almost no one does what I recommend.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> “That is not what I
want. How will we do this? Do I bring each child over here to say
goodbye?” he said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I can come to your house.
I have done this all over the city,” she said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">He didn’t want to watch his wife and his dog in pain all
weekend so he asked if she could come at 7:30 in the morning. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I arrived at the house before the family came back from
celebrating Kathryn’s 8<sup>th</sup> birthday at Wet and Wild. After I had thought it through, I realized I wanted
to spend time with Sallie alone. She and
I had a relationship. I had dog sat many
times over her 14 years. She could whine
me into more food than the regulated amount.
I slept in the basement bedroom with her when she stayed alone at my
house so she wouldn’t cry. I thought she
was a great contributor to my son’s maturing into the fine man he is. She aided his big steps into adulthood--jobs,
marriage, graduate school, three children.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Soon after I heard the garage door go up, William, the six
year old, ran up to me and said, “Sallie is going to die tomorrow.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I know. I’m sorry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Dad and the two boys went in the backyard to dig a hole in
the flowerbed at the end of the zip line.
“When you come down the zip line you’ll be able to say, ‘Hi Sallie,’” Dad
said. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kathryn found a ragged rock about six by ten inches in the
back yard and began to decorate it with markers. Green and red pictures were drawn, but I
couldn’t tell exactly what they were, and I didn’t want to ask because I was
trying to manage my heavy emotions when the children were still pretty light
hearted about it. They didn’t understand
yet exactly what was going to happen. When
we were alone, I asked her mother, who is an exquisite gardener and landscaper
as well as an RN, “How did that rock stay in your backyard?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I thought we were going to need it.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Each child drew a picture on the rock and they saved the
middle space for Dad to write Sallie’s name with a permanent black marker. Everyone chimed in, “Dad can do
calligraphy.” Who knew?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">While we ate Little Caesar’s pizza and bread sticks, I felt a
need to warn the children that I might look like I was falling apart tomorrow. I was the one that would be taking care of
them for the rest of day after their parents left. I wanted to reassure them
that I would be ok even though I might
not look like it. I was hoping it was
true. When I visited the month before,
Sallie had fallen over in a seizure so I had thought the end was near, but I didn’t
think I’d be there when it happened. “I
am going to cry,” I said. “It used to scare me when my parents cried. I don’t know why, but it did.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">George, IV, the 9 year old, said, “I don’t think it will
scare me if you cry. I don’t know if I
will cry.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">His dad said, “Some people do. Some people don’t. Not crying does not mean you don’t love.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We went to bed and I amazed myself by sleeping. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kathryn set her alarm for seven so she would have a half hour
to hug Sallie, take pictures and offer her a spoon of peanut butter, her
favorite treat. She asked me to take the
pictures. Owning an iPhone had brought
responsibilities I could not have anticipated.
As I aimed the camera and took four shots, each one being checked for
quality by Kathryn, I already had slow tears slipping over my eyelids. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was strange combination of nervous and calm but questions
were spinning in my head. Will the vet
be on time? What is this going to be like?
I’ve put two dogs down, but I handed them to the vet and left with
heaving sobs. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The vet and her assistant arrived right at 7:30. We all went to the backyard. My son had put a blanket and three chairs by
the dug grave. The vet kneeled down in
front of the three children and looked only at them. “Sallie is very sick. She is not going to get better. We are going to help her not suffer
anymore. I am going to shave some hair
off her leg with this razor, put this catheter in her vein and tape it on. Then
I’ll put this needle in the catheter. It
will be very quick. Her eyes won’t
close.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The vet and assistant carefully held Sallie. My son and three
children got behind her and each put a hand on her. And then we all cried as she got totally
still. My son stood up and read three
poems he had written—one about her, one about a friend’s dog who had died, and
one about it’s time for some of us to go and some of us to stay. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When my husband picked up our one dog, who died at home, the dog
slid out of his arms on the first try so I was praying that wouldn’t
happen. My son gently picked Sallie up
folding her into a round circle, nose touching tail, the way she often slept
and placed her in the grave. He said,
“Some families like to each put in some dirt.”
The children and he did that and then I did—very unlike me. Then he filled the hole quickly using all his
muscle strength to pull the rain soaked dirt in. Kathryn placed the rock on top. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">We all sat and cried a few more minutes. Staring at the wet, raw dirt almost produced
shock symptoms. We struggled to get up
not wanting to believe she was really gone, but it was time for my son to take
my daughter-in-law to the hospital. I noticed on the way into the house, that their
mom had thought to put away Sallie’s beautiful ceramic dog dish made by Kathryn
in a pottery class. I was glad. It would
have made me cry harder, and I was trying to pull myself together.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">My oldest grandson grabbed picture albums, took them to his
room and pulled out pictures of Sallie to put on his wall. Kathryn wanted to frame the best two that we
had taken. William went out front to
play. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Kathryn and I sat at the kitchen table making bead bracelets
and necklaces after we finished framing the pictures. I answered her questions all day long. “What do you think Sallie is doing in heaven?”
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“Do you think she’s watching us?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“I don’t know.” These
life-after-death questions were making me continue to seep tears. I knew she could easily escalate into what happens
to humans so I was trying to keep my answers short.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What did Daddy mean when he said, ‘Sallie made me a better
husband and father?’”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“She made him more responsible.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“What’s responsible?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“When you grow up, you can get a job, live on your own, and
go where you want to. If you get a dog,
you have to always think about feeding her, cleaning up her poop, making sure
she has a safe place to stay. If you
want to travel, you have to get someone else to take care of her. If she gets
sick, you have to pay her vet bills. All
of those duties are worth it, but they are a lot of work and you have to do it
every day, not just sometimes. Being a
husband and father requires all that and much more. She helped him get ready.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Later in the day Kathryn said, “I bet Sallie’s thinking—they
gave me peanut butter and then killed me.
What’s up with that?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">That night after we got the children to bed, my son and I stared
at cyclists in the Tour de France on his periodically muted TV while his wife
slept deeply with the help of Percocet.
We told stories about when I first met Sallie at the pound in Colorado,
about how he got her the next week, took her to the park, told her to stay,
took off the leash, walked back and then said, “Come.” He did 20 feet, then 50 feet, then 100
feet. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“She always came, jumped up on my chest and kissed me.” Through tears, he said, “Did I do the right
thing?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<span style="font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I looked at my son who shared my love of dogs, who had
trusted me to witness the loss of his first dog. I knew the answer to that question. “Yes. She loved you the moment she met you.
You did what she most needed now.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 115%;">
<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-67531432840185757362012-10-19T17:58:00.001-04:002012-10-23T20:00:58.760-04:00<img src="webkit-fake-url://0B9C704F-AD79-4642-AB14-30DBE030D3FE/image.tiff" /><br />
<span style="text-align: center;"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeVOx4m4Z-iGFQv0PBHOipZB2ZrTDwrIkg36qff68ajCCqzAE5argkuzEDpuHc-NcNkiZghXId9rYCOvPRcHvu0hAzggatljWPB4vBRRN0AA0gJUQoJuL3KUGJsSc0jsliG-lkkj8RMU-D/s1600/sofa+photo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeVOx4m4Z-iGFQv0PBHOipZB2ZrTDwrIkg36qff68ajCCqzAE5argkuzEDpuHc-NcNkiZghXId9rYCOvPRcHvu0hAzggatljWPB4vBRRN0AA0gJUQoJuL3KUGJsSc0jsliG-lkkj8RMU-D/s1600/sofa+photo.jpg" /></a></div>
<span style="text-align: center;">Relaxed</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sitting in the sun<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
on my daughter’s<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
jade green suede sofa<br />
on a cool day</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
in the middle of October.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The sun rays beam heat<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
on my neck like a<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
gentle, continuous massage<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
that only stops<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
when a cloud cover comes<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
or I choose to get up.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The orange and yellow trees<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
that surround her house<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
sway in a gust of wind<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and a few acorns pop<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
on the roof and deck.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her sweet pooch lies<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
on the perpendicular,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
plaid love seat,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
glad to be with me<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and out of his box,<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
but positioned<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
so he can see out the window<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
while he intermittently naps<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and longs for her return.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The joy of utter solitude<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and a personal email box<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
that can be totally ignored<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
because I have retired. </div>
<br />
<!--EndFragment-->Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-50199709111286466132012-04-21T08:22:00.000-04:002012-04-21T08:43:29.615-04:00<br />
<h2 align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
First Cup of Great Coffee</h2>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ajaO6lDQbil2g723G18XnJDsmW0_9tQ3b42kDPKGeWNurNGWoUsmf_K_NovxDG77MV8J3AlTW8ys0nZIMBlTFbApLzVZ9tcLVN1UyseQcdOocSJ7JcWYKELLxC5af_OyekbixFzKx2Ut/s1600/Don+Juan+rose+002.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8ajaO6lDQbil2g723G18XnJDsmW0_9tQ3b42kDPKGeWNurNGWoUsmf_K_NovxDG77MV8J3AlTW8ys0nZIMBlTFbApLzVZ9tcLVN1UyseQcdOocSJ7JcWYKELLxC5af_OyekbixFzKx2Ut/s200/Don+Juan+rose+002.JPG" width="150" /></a><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I had my first great cup of
coffee in a fifty’s style diner on a tall bar stool with a round red leather
seat in the Breaker’s Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida, in 1978 at noon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I poured in rich, real cream until it was
café au lait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was the best thing I
ever tasted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not need lunch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not need a four o’clock snack.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I barely needed dinner.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I played with my food, pushed it around on
the plate taking a couple of bites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
never felt thinner or more in control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I tried it again the next
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It worked again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I took a walk on the beach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My long hair flip flew around in the breeze,
and I didn’t mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was at the annual
ACPE meeting where I was blown away by presentations made by Roger Schenke, Irv
Rubin, and Lee Kaiser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their speaking
style and content gave me courage for the free feminist moves I had already
begun to take.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw Bob Jampliss, the
current president, with his big smile, rosey complexion, and white hair coming
around the corner as I went back in the building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He greeted me with exuberant recognition.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">I continued that caffeine kick
at lunch time until it tore up my esophagus about ten years later.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then I had to give up caffeine, chocolate,
and all carbonated drinks to try to put off the two surgeries<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>that I would eventually have that didn’t
quite fix things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But a cocktail of
drugs with the lead ingredient Pepcid made me be able to live and work happily
even though I cannot lift more than 15 pounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;">What former passion have you
had to give up to support a better life today?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
</div>
</span><br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Times New Roman;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
</div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-67863381957343898972012-04-07T12:18:00.004-04:002012-04-07T12:40:26.145-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPsElAa11-4NvYor22ovxzzQ2oUbsHJ63YupWmjSqmxFGoq_muYoamGC54yvYlTAE4iuXOXCdrd5ac9vG63tHYB2VXpMM-cqXW3OzHfaCMkJo6Z6Da5mB75t0NG81QNn_lgeXqrq9Y0X6G/s1600/Don+Juan+rose+023.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5728694260866630786" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPsElAa11-4NvYor22ovxzzQ2oUbsHJ63YupWmjSqmxFGoq_muYoamGC54yvYlTAE4iuXOXCdrd5ac9vG63tHYB2VXpMM-cqXW3OzHfaCMkJo6Z6Da5mB75t0NG81QNn_lgeXqrq9Y0X6G/s200/Don+Juan+rose+023.JPG" /></a><br /><div><br />Don Juan Rose<br /><br />My Don Juan climbing rose produces dark red buds that open slowly and never completely show their inside yellow stamens. They are not like the legs-spread-wide-apart look of the new Knock-out roses.<br /><br />I don’t let it climb anywhere it wants to. I cut the branches so they suit me and are artfully arranged on a small fan-shaped trellis I bought years ago. The plant becomes bushy in a way I like—not the tall lanky, leggy look of regular rose bushes.<br /><br />I love the deep red. Other color roses do not interest me—only deep red.<br />When we first moved into this house in 1995, I tried eight regular roses in my front border—the only place there was enough sun. The Peace rose and the Lincoln are the only names I remember. They were straggly looking at the bottom and an invitation to Japanese beetles. My husband planted them, but I paid someone to dig them up and throw them away. He took it hard.<br /><br />The first blooms of the Don Juan cut each spring are gorgeous. The leaves have no black spot. The bugs haven’t gotten organized yet, and the summer heat has not begun to bake them.<br /><br />I put seven buds in a cheap vase given to me 40 years ago by a relative on my husband’s side. Probably one of his aunts, who was living frugally in old age but who understood roses and all flowers the way a knowledgeable southern woman understood growing things. She probably knew the roses would fit comfortably in the vase without any artificial support and last for days.<br /><br />I came late to the desire for flower knowledge. I enjoyed watching a plant die when my children were young, saying to it—I do not have to water you. I have to take care of these children and the dog but not you.<br /><br /> My mother knew such things, and I was rebellious about it. She dug in the yard all summer. I remember a time when she came in dripping with sweat and covered in dirt looking happy. I had been inside cleaning out the kitchen cabinets and relining them with fresh shelf paper—not my idea.<br /><br />The first year my mother lost her memory and could no longer take care of the two geraniums she put on her balcony in her retirement apartment each May, I asked a neighbor to help me learn how to care for geraniums. I began to feed my Don Juan rose. I had planted it years before, and it did pretty well with no attention, but when I poured on MiracleGro Rose Food, it did much better.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-64297405891514978932012-03-24T07:50:00.003-04:002012-03-24T07:52:37.899-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOjAXElnOkuQfcJWVE686pp1dS1w5PJYzFweN3mfi8rhjaOxga7F-efiTd2EJOHjyNJiT4dwNFjD6azOAmrv5N2IpIPdMHUKWIInnyhRucwLWyoQ1jH2a_p-AhTDkXW2FqdVHAOdVFpT_W/s1600/2012-3-19+Charlottesville+009.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5723429862837708002" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOjAXElnOkuQfcJWVE686pp1dS1w5PJYzFweN3mfi8rhjaOxga7F-efiTd2EJOHjyNJiT4dwNFjD6azOAmrv5N2IpIPdMHUKWIInnyhRucwLWyoQ1jH2a_p-AhTDkXW2FqdVHAOdVFpT_W/s200/2012-3-19+Charlottesville+009.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><br />Springtime in Charlottesville<br /><br />On an 80 degree day,<br />if you had the patience,<br />you could watch the forsythia<br />and the Bradford pears<br />turn from yellow and white<br />to green by the hour.<br />On some trees the new leaves<br />finally push the dead leaves off.<br />Most let go in the Fall<br />and wait naked for the new ones<br />to paint the sky<br />with their feathery brush strokes.<br />The cherry blossoms are<br />round balls of flowers up close,<br />a solid burst of light pink<br />against the blue sky<br />when you drive by them quickly.<br />Not like the layered lace of the dogwoods<br />that will come a week or so later<br />or the lavender lines of the red buds<br />that came the week before<br />drawn on the edge of the woods<br />of the still bare tall trees.<br />A bank of perfectly spaced,<br />blue violet periwinkles<br />alive with the hum of bees.<br />The earth shows us resurrection<br />every Spring<br />to remind us it happened then<br />and can happen again<br />in our lives if we let it. </div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-32468307056746180672012-03-04T15:24:00.009-05:002012-03-18T12:48:01.017-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuk4Qrhi_VsqoPGTHg8hbaKpjJJP_7bgiSbktmvw_VxtNffwvRN4JlxOOu9q00liw5aVfG7LnACl_i6ZtILmg-JFNsgK3U5I6Jbc2Y0T7lh3jBzcmTlFX-4pGiMAiVRWV3zqrgxS1WGWR/s1600/Girl+Scout+Badges+002.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5716149755128417474" style="FLOAT: right; MARGIN: 0px 0px 10px 10px; WIDTH: 200px; CURSOR: pointer; HEIGHT: 150px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjuuk4Qrhi_VsqoPGTHg8hbaKpjJJP_7bgiSbktmvw_VxtNffwvRN4JlxOOu9q00liw5aVfG7LnACl_i6ZtILmg-JFNsgK3U5I6Jbc2Y0T7lh3jBzcmTlFX-4pGiMAiVRWV3zqrgxS1WGWR/s200/Girl+Scout+Badges+002.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4kmHPdJi70ujFcruySqYXO_3AqzBiunVbmj425TvRjcdWgJQC3tl7rerGkkwD-K_EQb6CDqhOdvM9HucGmmkyBzG2d8KuGMDTP3TTHsqyfjzWwmywzlU2Tpkd1PizZXjH09XmCJfKJew1/s1600/Girl+Scout+Badges+001.JPG"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBJ9_-s2pnvgLWouyndsAgDym5sJGiJIddwazPSTLW7H1C3E3ZDoW05XFpUm5KBow2QkZi2KIlv3OpjLdvRYELU96dsW7kXnCV-8zhIL47XURZlzdimIdZQQ7D-clQAYblS9-1uGlwEFi_/s1600/Girl+Scout+Badges+002.JPG"></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div><br />The first time I slept outside<br /><br />I slept outside in the sixth grade in a Girl Scout pup<br />tent. They said to dig a trench around the tent. The ground was hard. Mary Frances and I tried digging one. I didn’t know what it was for. It seemed like mean busy work. Ditch digging was a term I used for what you would have to do when you grew up if you didn’t study hard.<br /><br />In the night I found out what it was for. It poured rain. We were slanted downward on the side of a hill. Water and the loose dirt of our half-inch ditch came rushing in, over, and underneath us.<br />A frog jumped right beside my head. I jumped out of my sleeping bag fearing more were inside it. If this is what Girls Scouts was all about, I wanted out. Earlier we had cooked hamburgers and potatoes on our homemade tin can grills.They were good, but not like the fabulous s’mores with marshmallows burnt over the open fire. We didn’t get around to breakfast.<br /><br />I didn’t quilt Girl Scouts immediately. Another trip promised cots, a large tent that could sleep six. I went. I didn’t like being with that many people. The pup tent with just Mary Frances was more comfortable psychologically although then I didn’t know what that meant. I quickly got 11 badges including swimming when I took the test in the muddy waters of Fairview Beach. I had had enough. I never sewed the badges on the band that went over your shoulder and crossed your heart, but I still have it. I haven’t slept outside since. I don’t like the heat, humidity, bugs, frogs or threat of rain.<br /></div><br /><div>I have bought a house that has a completely natural back yard with tall trees. I stroll often in it touching the trees, remembering my dog that is buried there, looking at the ground covered with leaves, and letting nature soothe me.</div></div></div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-87304572402561415442011-11-13T08:41:00.000-05:002011-11-13T08:49:57.451-05:00<div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEnPjQbqUESQt6On4INMdU9hPQbBY5xoV1Abz7r50198von42NePxzcjhb5fHgBe_BpkMdXP4K4EnaV8KOVpX-RcNqCuQNkcHaSN8Mih88XA3u9_n-nbyLLYnD1IDJjNqtzDp2Rz5_aKLI/s1600/2011-11-12-Fall+trees+002.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px; width: 200px; height: 150px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5674476028951755154" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEnPjQbqUESQt6On4INMdU9hPQbBY5xoV1Abz7r50198von42NePxzcjhb5fHgBe_BpkMdXP4K4EnaV8KOVpX-RcNqCuQNkcHaSN8Mih88XA3u9_n-nbyLLYnD1IDJjNqtzDp2Rz5_aKLI/s200/2011-11-12-Fall+trees+002.jpg" /></a><br /><div><br />I love the colors of Fall. Someone said to me once he didn’t because everything was dying. I don’t think so and wrote a poem about it.<br /><br /><br />Letting Go<br /><br />The trees are not dying.<br />They are just beautiful<br />as they let things go.<br />A mix of red, orange,<br />yellow and evergreen<br />on a palette of blue sky<br />and white clouds.<br />The year’s work,<br />those they hold close<br />float away.<br />It is time for them to move on,<br />fertilize the ground,<br />make the world richer.<br />Get quiet, be still, withdraw,<br />Let the cold winds come<br />and stand up to them.<br />Be pruned without falling.<br />Let worry go.<br />Be still and beautiful.<br />Welcome the lovely,<br />dark angular shapes<br />fully seen against the<br />white of the winter sky.<br /></div></div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-70359902810769582442011-05-21T12:58:00.000-04:002011-05-21T15:33:11.320-04:00<strong>What do crushes mean?</strong> by Barbara Linney<br /><br />A way to find out what you want to do next is to pay attention to the people and things you fall in love with. I have had crushes on people who could do what I wanted to do. In my twenties I fantasized about running off with some of them, but thank goodness I had sense enough not to mention it. I’ve also had a crush on a house and a quilt. My definition of a crush is a sudden, not totally understood, ignited passion or longing. Here is a short summary of some of my many past crushes, details about a current one, and examples of how crushes began life-enriching changes for me.<br /><br /><strong>Love of People<br /></strong>My mother was a great teacher. She taught English and Business classes in the high school I attended, a fact which had its own complications. I was scheduled to be in her advanced eighth grade English class. I knew she was a hard teacher—a strict disciplinarian with high academic standards. I didn’t want to put up with the rolling eyes and mean comments about her that I would get from my friends. So I was allowed to choose to not be in her class, but I was forever behind in poetry because of it. She drilled iambic pentameter and all that went with it into her class. I saw and heard her when I was occasionally walking in the halls. She had a great voice, told interesting stories, could command a room, and was fearless. I wanted to be as good as she was. I got two degrees, almost a third, and listened to her advice to help me get to her level. I think I’m having a love affair with poetry now because of what I missed out on by not being in her class.<br /><br />Crushes started for me early—a minor one on my step-cousin at six but a major one at age seven. In Port Royal, Virginia, at the crossroads of US 17 and 301, Agnes Verberg would invite my family over to swim in her new heart-shaped pool at Brown’s Motor Court. My daddy used to take me over in the evenings after he closed his grocery store. The army base, Fort A. P. Hill, was close by, and occasionally, officers would come to the pool to swim. Daddy struck up a conversation with Captain Robbins, who had been a lifeguard when he was younger.<br /><br />As they talked Captain Robbins took an interest in my swimming and wanted me to dive off the board. He was tall, tan, blond, and Robert Redford beautiful. He waited patiently for me to dive off the low board the first time. He would dog paddle below in the water saying encouraging words, “You can do it. Bend at the waist and just let yourself fall in. Keep your chin on your chest, and you are guaranteed not to belly flop.” I had learned to hate belly flops because I had been diving in from the side of the pool. After five or six days spread out over several weeks of standing at the end of the board and then walking off, I finally dove in. He didn’t come every evening to the pool as we did, and I was only willing to consider diving off the board when he was there.<br /><br />My mother invited him to a family dinner as a thank you for all his attention. I could not say a word the whole dinner, a trend that would continue throughout my life when I was enchanted with someone, but it was new to me then and surprised me. I had thoughts but mercifully I knew it was not appropriate to say them—I love you. Will you stay forever?<br /><br />I had your normal boy crushes on and off through my teenage years and thoroughly enjoyed the rush and tolerated the agony that went with each one, but in my late twenties I started having crushes that would also teach me something I was longing for and didn’t even know it, something essential.<br /><br />Four men taught me things that I put together and formed the skill set I use in my job today. First, a minister of education at my church taught me design skills and how to facilitate small group work. Second, I loved the senior minister’s strong, baritone, risk-taking speaking voice, and I wanted my female version of that. Third, my boss for 18 years performed his four-hour lecture to me one-on-one. I recorded, transcribed, and mostly memorized it, but I could always sneak a peek at PowerPoint out of the corner of my eye when I was delivering the program. I have taught it all over the country for 20 years. Fourth, my writing professor at UNCC taught me about free writing and set me on a journal writing path that has lasted over 30 years.<br /><br />At first I felt that crush, the sudden longing for these men and the things they knew how to do. Then I learned life lessons from them. Only recently did I understand this as a pattern that enriched my life. I began to realize I better be on the lookout for crushes and willing to embrace them. Something powerful almost always happens next.<br /><br />Love of a particular author moved me from journal writing to wanting to write a book. I fell for John Parker after I read his book, <em>Once a Runner</em>. I am not an athlete, but I loved his description of a runner, the humorous banter between jocks, and how he put words together. Exercise was not valued by my parents when I was growing up. If you had time to exercise, you weren’t working hard enough. After my 2nd child was born, I was so tired I didn’t want to walk to the refrigerator to get the first one a glass of juice. I thought—there must be a better way to live. My husband was training for a marathon. I decided to run down and back one block before he left for work. I was winded. After reading Parker’s book, I worked up to a 10 K race and had a respectable time of a little over eight minutes a mile.<br /><br />The most important crush of my life was for my husband when I met him on a blind date at a six-person dinner party of a close friend. I felt that initial longing and inability to speak but the other five people carried the conversation. On our second date the next day, I could talk after 45 minutes of listening to him. That crush was reciprocated, and we quickly moved to the rewarding and realistic ups and downs of marriage and children that has lasted almost 40 years. I still love listening to him and knowing I can say what I mean whenever I need to and that he is eager to hear my thoughts on just about any topic. But I also enjoy that he does most of the talking in our relationship and brings in the news of the community so I know what is going on but don’t have to research it myself. He has come to appreciate silence and gives it to me generously and even seems to enjoy it a bit himself. It’s the way these kinds of things unfold that make the journey of marriage so interesting.<br /><br />I was surprised when crushes continued after marriage. In my younger days I didn’t know much about what to intentionally do with them. I just felt the longing and the usual speechlessness that went along with being around that person. When I began to feel passionate about things as well as people, it helped me figure out what was going on. I fell in love with a house and a quilt.<br /><br /><strong>Love of Things<br /></strong>I loved my present house when I first saw it, but I walked away from it and said it was too big for our stage of life—empty nest. After looking at 14 houses in two days my husband said, “I want you to go back to that house and open up your mind.” I did. My love for this house, my sanctuary, has only increased over the years.<br /><br />It is my home, my office, my husband’s office, my gym, and my craft studio. For a while I decorated it in ways I had never decorated my three previous houses. I loved it the best of all the houses, and I had just discovered the HGTV home decorating channel. I would go to bed and wake up thinking about the color of a rug or a picture to hang. Finally, I realized the behavior was becoming addictive and too expensive, so I stopped. I made a decision that I would never progress to granite counter tops.<br /><br />I turned to sewing to meet my color and craft needs, but before I stopped, I spiffed up my basement by making my first quilt and a matching sofa slipcover with the help of a great new sewing teacher. I hung the red, blue, and green quilt on one wall, added quilted red pillows to the royal blue sofa on the opposite wall and hung a picture over it that I painted of spring flowers blooming on a mountain in Breckenridge, Colorado, where my son spent several good years in his early twenties. The blue of the mountains exactly matches the blue of the sofa. Those three things made the basement a beautiful sanctuary I can retreat to when I need alone time to restore my energy. (The story of making the quilt made my July 17, 2010 blog below.)<br /><br /><em>basement sofa slipcover and quilt<br /><br /></em><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtnSfuaijSlWbMwGSxX_rdFE85o3lZbCwQ8-GQLg_muuOaZhDfHyB6FJ2rLmz-aFZQWUEIVrlRuOCiOmaPuXiF39AmPsvDmH0qYYm66S5jnMdMPglTbReHs7Spfz4mAgozMFFFvPOsh6dy/s1600/2011-4-17-sofa+slipcover+010-2.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5609217632606528418" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtnSfuaijSlWbMwGSxX_rdFE85o3lZbCwQ8-GQLg_muuOaZhDfHyB6FJ2rLmz-aFZQWUEIVrlRuOCiOmaPuXiF39AmPsvDmH0qYYm66S5jnMdMPglTbReHs7Spfz4mAgozMFFFvPOsh6dy/s200/2011-4-17-sofa+slipcover+010-2.jpg" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGUuNLJLXe6qCTF1V9DSd5Ip65GZbdkIJPNU7PJUABGuyQb5wCud9cv-9cpmLbNq71Ycy2dkH44BqyGHOevx-VCLDT9iFJcbj4MguXivxyYnhSvZyGC2qSzw2DYqqR-zJ1Y1CndHIZxkgN/s1600/2011-4-17-sofa+slipcover+006.jpg"><img style="WIDTH: 200px; HEIGHT: 150px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5609219974709653394" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGUuNLJLXe6qCTF1V9DSd5Ip65GZbdkIJPNU7PJUABGuyQb5wCud9cv-9cpmLbNq71Ycy2dkH44BqyGHOevx-VCLDT9iFJcbj4MguXivxyYnhSvZyGC2qSzw2DYqqR-zJ1Y1CndHIZxkgN/s200/2011-4-17-sofa+slipcover+006.jpg" /></a><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg22rwSwjHtZD83CpNnYVwp7RkXVvCL5e2jKyxzXHgu3DMQM7P1PRvySJ18sNnJ4SHucadp_Ke9qxtIwlLPJK-oRpWZTB21NB5JcqImMoFtIJEkPmjiED8bv9Fq9kbnlNNnNZ_kHMqM4fTp/s1600/2011-4-17-sofa+slipcover+010-2.jpg"></a><br /><strong>Current Crush<br /></strong><br />Now I know to look for what the silent longing has to teach me. For the last ten years I’ve had a crush on the poet and corporate consultant, David Whyte. I know I am not in love with David Whyte. I am in love with what he can do. I am going to give you details of how I have explored what this crush means for my life and what I am doing about it so that you can think about your own plan for mining the lessons in your crushes.<br /><br />I have attended five of his events--three talks and two retreats—the most recent one in Charleston in February. Since my flame for him is newly fanned, I’ll tell you what effect it is having on me right now. I have heard he has memorized at least 300 poems. With his lilting English accent he tells stories, recites a few poems, and asks enough questions to find out the general mood of the audience. Although sometimes it seems he immediately picks up on the feelings of the room through mental osmosis. Then he chooses poems out of his memorized collection that exactly fit the moment. The connection between him and the audience is palpable.<br /><br />I’ve been envying that skill but couldn’t quite seem to do it. My 95-year-old mother has taken a deeper turn into dementia in the last six months so memory has been on my mind. My husband began doing crosswords puzzles and Sudoku when his mother’s mind starting slipping. I don’t like either one of those. I thought maybe I could memorize poems to enrich my life now and do the recommended brain exercises to hopefully chase the dementia demons later.<br /><br />I coincidentally read a review of <em>Moonwalking with Einstein</em> by Joshua Foer. Its premise is that anyone can learn to memorize better. I get excited when there seems to be synchronicity in my life and helpful information starts to fall into my path—see David Whyte, want to memorize, stumble onto a review of a book about how to memorize.<br /><br />I grabbed a little advice from the review and used it my way. He said--if you go in a house, you don’t forget what it looks like because you have pictures of it in your mind. The ancient Greeks used these techniques to memorize their Senate speeches. Based on his suggestions, I decided to draw pictures to help me memorize.<br /><br />Before reading the review I had memorized “The Swan” by Rilke and could call it back up fairly easily or at least I could after reading it through a few times. I was working on “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. I could recite most of the parts pretty well but would get them out of order. I drew pictures for each section, and suddenly I had it and was willing to risk trying to say it in front of the next group I spoke to—the Business Women’s Round Table of the Charlottesville Chamber of Commerce during the week of the Virginia Festival of the Book. It went well, and I enjoyed the connection I made with these women as I took a risk and trusted them to hear me.<br /><br />Then I wanted to memorize “The Journey” by Mary Oliver. I started right off with drawing stick figures and other symbols that had meaning for me. I learned it quickly.<br /><br />Foer said people used to memorize everything because there was no other way to pass on their stories. Then the printing press was invented, and we generally stopped memorizing as a culture. The computer is at least as big a life-changing invention as the printing press. I don’t know what 200 work emails waiting for me most of the time, with 30 coming in over a lunch break, will eventually do to my brain and nervous system, but I am thrilled to have found a technique that helps me do what I want to do next—memorize poems. The crush on David Whyte, the sudden, not-understood-at-first longing, awakened that desire. I now know to trust and explore the meaning of the desire.<br /><br />What do you desire? What are your crushes trying to tell you?<br /><br />For more on how to be heard and get what you want, go to <a href="http://www.turnyourface.com/">http://www.turnyourface.com/</a>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-67054024803048513082011-01-07T08:01:00.000-05:002011-05-21T14:41:00.758-04:00Write what you know<div>A friend gave me a pocket book size journal from Hallmark that had on the front--words matter: write to learn what you know. That is almost the title of the first chapter in my book, <em>Turn Your Face: How to Be Heard and Get What You Want Most of the Time</em>. To start the new year, buy the kind of paper you like and start writing ten minutes a day, five days a week. Put on paper whatever thoughts are rolling around in your head and whatever feelings are rumbling in your gut. Writing will take you places you didn't know you were going to go, so you might write someting that surprises you, pleases you, frightens you. If the words are dangerous and no one should ever see them under any circumstances, tear up the pages, flush them, shred them. You don't have to keep them to benefit from having written them. </div>
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<br /><div>Barbara Linney</div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-64413466120421889532010-09-18T15:28:00.000-04:002010-09-18T15:32:31.226-04:00Book signing and talkI am doing a book talk and signing in Charlottesville, Virginia on October 7, 2010 at 6:00pm. Here is the press release. Would love to see you there.<br /><br /><div align="left">New Dominion Bookshop<br />404 East Main Street<br />Charlottesville, VA 22902<br />434-295-2552<br />Contact: David Reynaud<br /><a onclick="if(window.location==top.location){Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=dsr%40cstone.net');}else{top.Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=dsr%40cstone.net');}; return false;" href="mailto:dsr@cstone.net" target="_blank">dsr@cstone.net</a><br /><br />Barbara J. Linney will discuss her new book:<br /><br /><strong>Turn Your Face<br />How to Be Heard and Get What You Want Most of the Time<br /></strong><br />Thursday, October 7 at 6:00 PM<br /><br />Turn Your Face is about reflecting on your life and finding meaning, renewing your energy, discovering why you listen (or why you don’t), talking well with others, creatively solving problems, planning what you want and striving to get it, giving an honest day’s work and yet not letting work totally consume your life, being cheerful, and giving to others.<br /><br />Many books tell you what to do but not how to do it. Barbara Linney shows how she and her clients have used what she recommends.<br /><br />Turn Your Face will help you consider the next step on your journey towards what you want.<br /><br /> “‘Whatever gives you joy, find a way to do it,’ writes Barbara Linney, author of Turn Your Face. This no-nonsense book is packed with good references and straight forward advice on how to live a good life. It touches on ways to communicate, set goals, tap creativity and be productive—and in short how to live a life that results in a deeper spiritual connection and more joy.”<br />—Debra Moffitt-Leslie, author of 108 Spiritual Practices for Challenging Times (to be published in 2011)<br /><br />Barbara J. Linney is Vice President of Career Development for the American College of Physician Executives. She is known for her work in career counseling, management development, and communications training.<br /><br />Her background includes one-on-one counseling, seminar presentations, published articles, and college-level teaching. She is author of the books, A Career Guide for Physician Executives, 2nd Edition of Hope for the Future, and co-author of the book Physician Executives: What, Why and How, 2nd Edition. She has published numerous articles in the PEJ (Physician Executive Journal.)<br /><br />Audiences have heard her speak on topics such as Improving Interpersonal Communications, Conflict Management, Delivering Effective Presentations, Conducting Effective Meetings, Career Advancement, and Writing as a Form of Prayer. She has received excellent evaluations for programs taught at Harvard, Stanford, and the Mayo Clinic. She lives in Charlotte, North Carolina.<br /><br />For more information, contact<br />Allison Linney at <a onclick="if(window.location==top.location){Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=asl%40allisonpartners.com');}else{top.Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=asl%40allisonpartners.com');}; return false;" href="mailto:asl@allisonpartners.com" target="_blank">asl@allisonpartners.com</a>,<br />Barbara Linney at <a onclick="if(window.location==top.location){Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=blinney%40turnyourface.com');}else{top.Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=blinney%40turnyourface.com');}; return false;" href="mailto:blinney@turnyourface.com" target="_blank">blinney@turnyourface.com</a>,<br />Michelle Prosser at <a onclick="if(window.location==top.location){Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=energyfocus%40ntelos.net');}else{top.Popup.composeWindow('pcompose.php?sendto=energyfocus%40ntelos.net');}; return false;" href="mailto:energyfocus@ntelos.net" target="_blank">energyfocus@ntelos.net</a>,<br />or go to <a href="http://turnyourface.com/" target="_blank">turnyourface.com</a>.</div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-71843086778344822802010-07-17T09:26:00.000-04:002010-07-25T08:22:09.869-04:00<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8Nl_LV5L2NO_ZnLiQsLvMbZ83kCg4tk3WevDqpCDb5P1udEf2EwTybZAqFLJxv-1Uu1-qhVaZcylPn4QUUoyBCd4ufGijQ-rF4L31t18Ey8CStzOWoZiy8fDPbguT-ktywgIcAvh1U3T/s1600/2010-4-28-quilt+001.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5495285275269104354" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEix8Nl_LV5L2NO_ZnLiQsLvMbZ83kCg4tk3WevDqpCDb5P1udEf2EwTybZAqFLJxv-1Uu1-qhVaZcylPn4QUUoyBCd4ufGijQ-rF4L31t18Ey8CStzOWoZiy8fDPbguT-ktywgIcAvh1U3T/s320/2010-4-28-quilt+001.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>The last chapter of my new book, Turn Your Face, is titled "Dance When You Can. " I am using the phrase as a metaphor for any activity that is fun, renews your spirit, makes you feel connected to your Creator.</div><div> </div><div>I started learning to sew when I was 15. Last summer I took a quilting course. Susan Nelson, who teaches classes at the Charlotte Sewing Center was a kind, encouraging, patient guide who taught me a new craft that helps me write and enjoy my days off work. Here is a story I wrote about it: </div><div> </div><div> </div><div>Falling in Love with Quilting<br />By<br />Barbara J. Linney<br /><br />I saw a beautiful quilt hanging in the Charlotte Sewing Center and my heart leapt up. It had intricate little pieces going in all directions, blanket stitches made by a machine, appliqués of leaves and flowers. I thought, I want to do that. Then an email from the Charlotte Sewing Center popped up in my inbox advertising a “quilt-as-you-go” class. I’ve never wanted to be wrestling with a whole bedspread at the sewing machine—too much pulling and tugging. But make one block, quilt it, make the next one, and join them together at the end. Now that was appealing.<br /><br />Unsure that I wanted to commit to a class on my day off, I didn’t find out more about it until the night before. I called the teacher, Susan Nelson, to see if I could still get in and if you had to know anything about quilting. The class had room, but I did not have supplies and had not done the pre-work. There was no way to do all that before the next day at one o’clock. Susan said, “Come anyway. You can use what I have quilted.” How nice. <br /><br />I’ve sewn since I was 15 so I knew a thing or two, but in quilting class I knew nothing—a roller blade, self healing cutting matt, 5 by 24 inch clear plaster ruler with black marks all over it were strange. You can’t really mean ¼ inch seams are enough to hold everything together. I’m used to 5/8 inch seams.<br /><br />After the class I was hooked. I didn’t sleep that night. I tossed and turned in bed the way I did when I was first kissed at 14. My favorite colors kept flashing in my mind. As I rolled around I thought—am I crazy? The next morning I tried to work by myself, to continue making the table runner we had started in class. I could do nothing. I couldn’t understand the directions without Susan showing me what to do.<br /><br />I drove 20 miles to Mary Jo’s to choose fabric for the quilt I had seen in the window. I had found the pattern on line and wanted to start that quilt rather than finish the table runner. I got a yard each of six fabrics I loved, brought them home, and could do nothing with them. <br /><br />I emailed Susan and said, “I can’t pick out fabrics that seem right. My prints are too big.” She said, “I’ll meet you at Mary Jo’s.” I drove the 20 miles again. Three hours later we had picked out fabrics. I knew colors but didn’t know what size the pattern of the print should be. Susan would gather three bolts of fabric in the same color range from around the store and say, “All these would work. Which one do you like?” Painfully I chose. I bought 11 different fabrics, batting, spray-on glue, a 9½ inch plastic block, a large ruler, cutting pad, and a huge spool of cotton thread. I went home, read the directions, and I could do nothing. I couldn’t fold the fabric or make the first cut. <br /><br />I emailed Susan. She said, “Come to my house.” She lives half way to Mary Jo’s. After three hours of her guidance and encouragement, I had cut out all the strips. I read lines of directions over and over and over. It took me nine months to finish my quilt. <br /><br />How do I explain my love of quilting? I can’t explain “the love at first sight phenomenon.” It had an other-worldly feel to it as if God might be saying, “Do this. It will help you.” <br /><br />I can explain why I continue to like it. It is totally mind consuming and yet relaxing. While I do it, I don’t think about my mother losing her memory, my grown children’s unmet desires, or my own quirky fears. I am so excited that I have the discipline to follow directions when normally I read directions as a last resort. It helps me edit my writing because with both I must pay attention to small details. <br /><br />For a long time you have no idea what you are doing and then you turn the block over and the colors and design are beautiful. That is what I feel about God’s help. I have big plans, know nothing about how to carry them out, more big plans, know nothing, big plans. Then gradually and sometimes suddenly I know a little, enough to move forward at a slow methodical pace. God has a plan worked out and I need to discover how to carry it out, but I do get to choose the colors of the fabric. Keep moving, be persistent, then turn over the block and there is something wonderful. That has been true for my life many times. <br /><br /><br /><br /></div><div align="left"> </div><div align="left"></div>Barbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6327487476810320194.post-31141844996397815482010-04-04T14:21:00.000-04:002010-04-04T14:39:00.349-04:00Just getting started with a new blog for my book, <span style="font-style: italic;">Turn Your Face</span>. In the meantime, if you would like to purchase or read more about it visit: <a href="http://turnyourface.com">turnyourface.com</a>.<br /><br />I am looking forward to posting about the book, life, small groups, journaling, and getting what you want out of life.<br /><br />I encourage you to become a follower of this blog, to comment, and of course, purchase a copy of my book.<br /><br />Sincerely,<br />Barbara LinneyBarbara J. Linneyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12977539491746446100noreply@blogger.com0